Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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