Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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