O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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