What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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