Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
How does it feel to date your dad?
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
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