why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
