so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Randomize
