why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
