I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Little spoons don't ask big questions
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
