i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize