Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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