Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
Randomize
