it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
