So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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