Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
