Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
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