I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
