I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
