i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
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