If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
