Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
