You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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