I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
