she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
