you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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