i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
