Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
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