It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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