i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
