I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Randomize
