she smelled like a LAN party
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Randomize
