god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
I see more hoeing in ur future
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