You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
