Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
