Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Whenever you're sad about your life, just remember that I'm on a first name basis with the late night taco bell drive-thru workers.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
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