ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Randomize
