i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Over Bumbled last night. I think I set my dog up on a date Sunday afternoon. I have to drive him, meet the other dog’s dad and secretly drink a bottle of champagne from a “water bottle”. This is not what I expected 30 to be like.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
