Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
