it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
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