escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
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