Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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