he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
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