Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
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normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
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I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
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