but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
Randomize
