Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
