I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
soo... how was my night?
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