I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
