did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
