yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
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like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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