im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
