Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Randomize
