Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Randomize
