Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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