i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
