I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
