Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
I just gift wrapped bread.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
