Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
