Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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