every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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